Being too accommodating of other people can really take a toll on your mental health over time.
When you’re always saying yes, doing favors, and putting everyone else’s needs ahead of your own, it eventually leads to burnout, resentment, and even anger issues.
The healthiest relationships have a good balance of give and take – you help out your friends and loved ones, but you also have boundaries and know when to say no in order to protect your own well-being.
The first step is increasing your self-awareness about this tendency to be a people-pleaser.
Notice when you catch yourself agreeing to something you don’t really want to do, just to avoid conflict or disappointment from the other person.
That little voice of dread in your head? Listen to it! It’s there for a reason. You have to get better at tuning into your own needs and desires, not just placating others all the time.
Once you can recognize the situations where you get overly accommodating, you can start pushing back a little bit. It doesn’t have to be aggressive or rude.
Simply say something like “Let me think about it and get back to you” instead of an automatic yes.
Pause before responding when someone asks you for a favor, and actually consider if you have the bandwidth.
It’s ok to say “I’m over-committed this week, but I may be able to help out next week.” Reasonable people will understand.
If it’s a friend or family member constantly taking advantage, you may need to have a deeper conversation about rebalancing the dynamics.
Something like “I care about you and want to be supportive, but I’ve been feeling overwhelmed with all the favors lately.
Can we figure out a better system where we both have our needs met?” Listen to their side too – maybe they have unrealistic expectations you can realign.
For the bigger things like major time commitments, it’s wise to have a personal policy of saying “no” more often than “yes.”
That way, when it’s something you genuinely want to participate in, it feels more meaningful. Too many yeses leads to spreading yourself too thin.
At the end of the day, you have to fill your own cup first before you can go pouring from the pitcher for others.
Putting yourself first more often reduces stress, gives you room to breathe, and allows you to show up better for your loved ones when you do decide to accommodate their asks. It’s about striking a balance.
Visualize what having better boundaries will look like.
More time to yourself, less frantic rushing around, lower anxiety, and a greater sense of control over your daily life.
Start small by batching times for saying no – for example, no running weekend errands for others. Baby steps will make it easier to build assertiveness over time.
The people who really care about you will understand if you communicate openly about needing to be accommodating a little less often.
The ones who guilt trip or can’t respect that probably aren’t worth overextending yourself for anyway.
Your mental health is the priority, not losing yourself in people-pleasing. With practice, you’ve got this!
